The reason some of us strive to be superhuman is that we are forever trying to live up to the expectations of certain “key people” in our life. We can’t say “NO”! Is it hard for you? Come on, try it! Say it with me, “Nooooooo!” Now that wasn’t so bad for the first time was it? Maybe you will learn that it is okay to actually not have to be Superwoman or Superman all the time.
Give yourself a break for crying out loud! There was only One person who saved the world and you’re not it. A good friend recently told me I needed to do this myself…..Take off the cape!
It began with our parents; we wanted to please them at a very young age. We came home with our report cards, always seeking the perfect A. All A’s was the ultimate goal. Even though our parents said they wanted us to be happy and to “just do your best”, we still felt that drive to over-achieve. It was in our nature. Whatever we did we felt like maybe it wasn’t good enough.
Then it was other teachers, peer groups, supervisors, professors, husbands, wives, co-workers, and on and on it went. The pressure was always building to be perfect and take on more and more. There is still a drive to become superhuman, to be all things to all people. It can be overwhelming!
Maybe you are able to leap tall buildings and you are faster than a speeding bullet, but if you are not taking care of yourself you are no good to anyone.
Women are especially bad about this because it is in our nature to take care of everyone else first. That is a good attribute to have but if you don’t love yourself first, and take care of YOU, then you cannot possibly take care of anyone else. You can’t give what you don’t have!
Of course first and foremost, in taking care of YOU, that quality time with God goes a long, long way in giving you peace of mind, self-control, security and happiness! Then you have got to make some time for yourself, even if you have to schedule it in!
You may first just try tucking the cape inside your shirt. Train yourself to say, “NO!” Sometimes you just have to set limits. You cannot be all things to all people all of the time! There is a reason why on an airplane they tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself FIRST, and not on your child! If the plane was going down and you put the mask on the child first, you might not have time to put it on yourself and the child would be left without anyone to take care of them. But if you put it on yourself first, you would then be able to put the mask on the child as well!
Sometimes we need to take a look around us and regroup. It is good to be taken care of by others who care about us. We need to learn to receive because we are letting the one who is helping us know that their love is worth something. It doesn’t mean we are weak and frail at all! We have been the giver, now let someone else bless us in return. Take off the cape!
You are doing your best to pray for your family, your children, your friends and co-workers. You are concerned about others around you, their health and finances, and you pray for their children who are away from God and struggling to make it on their own. The Bible even tells us to: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2.
But there is a limit to how much you can take on! You cannot fix everyone’s problems. Don’t try to be Superman or Superwoman! God doesn’t expect you to save the world! Let Him take care of that. I have a secret for you: He is much better at it anyway. He has it all in control and you know what? He can do it without you! Did you know you can actually lay your head on your pillow at night, give your burdens to Him and not have to WORRY? “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you!” 1 Peter 5:7.
If you are taking on too much and feeling overwhelmed, reach out! Find a friend, co-worker, pastor, pastor’s wife, someone who can listen and help. Sometimes just sitting down and talking helps.
At home, set limits! If you have teenagers make sure they are doing their share! The biggest mistake a parent can make is to not teach their children responsibility!
Your kids should know how to do a load of laundry and wash dishes! It won’t hurt them, no matter how much they whine about it. Teach them how to cook, how to clean. Even your boys! They may live on their own one day, and then what will they do? Besides that, you should not be walking behind them every minute picking up after them; they should be pulling their own weight. Take off the cape!
In your social life you have to give a little as well. Woman want to feel needed and admit it, we also want to be “liked”. We have a tendency to want to do things our way. Just because others may not do things the way I would do them doesn’t mean they do them poorly. I need to step back and delegate and then let go! Give them their wings! This gives you the chance to do other more important tasks and keep your sanity in the process.
Did you know even Superman was vulnerable? When he took off his cape he had to have close human contact just like us! He needed to be comforted, loved and he needed intimacy.
What would it be like to take off that cape….forever?
Look around and see who it is you are really trying to please and seeking approval from all the time.
Where in your life are you trying to be Superhuman?
Ask yourself what you are trying to prove?
Let go of that need to please, lay down that load and quit trying to be everything to everybody all of the time.
Start trying to just please God first, love your family, take time for YOU and give yourself a break.
What a weight lifted! What a relief!
You only have one life so do it now….take off the cape!
Megan, thanks for linking to the blog!!! I am praying God leads you to the right place for your family. Moving can be so stressful, I’ve done it at least ten times and one of them overseas in the last 33 years. Never gets any easier! But the Lord always helps and gives strength and wisdom. Just take deep breaths and delegate where you can! Remember what is important and the other things will be there in the morning 🙂
Elizabeth I wish I had that last line in the article! It’s much more fulfilling just to know who I am in Christ! Love that! It is pretty huge 🙂 I hope your knee mends quickly but that you also take it easy and give yourself a break. Your family is loved and you are a chlid of the King…wow…can’t ask for more than that!! Blessings, friend!
First, thank you for your comment on SRT! I feel so overwhelmed by all the good thoughts and prayers of the ladies there, thank you.
Also, this post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. Since our move I’ve been struggling trying to do everything: graduate school, cooking, cleaning, learning my new job, keeping in touch with friends, finding a church…. the list goes on forever! But you’re right, sometimes we need to just let someone else help us. We’re not meant to do it all alone. 🙂
Coming over again from SRT…. you are so right, and I am always trying to be Superwoman, more specifically, SuperMOM. Or at least, I want the appearance that I am Supermom. But at the end of the day, I am so not that. My son and husband are loved, our house isn’t spotless but just okay, I’m in good physical shape…. but yeah, I’m constantly seeking approval from others. You’re right, especially as women, we have this “need” to be liked. And I DO need to let go of that. I’ve been dealing with a (hopefully) minor knee injury just as I was set to begin a career in fitness, and for me, someone who has struggled with body image her whole life, tend to feel that I am nothing without a good workout and I feel that others will feel that as well (no matter how irrational I KNOW that is), and lately I have had to remind myself that that’s not true. That I am everything without that. I am HIS. A child of the ONE TRUE KING. And that’s pretty huge – way more than I could make myself.
Anyway, a little rambling to say that I really enjoyed this post. Its hard trying to be Super-anything. I’m (slowly) learning that its much more fulfilling just to know who I am in Christ.