“Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the LORD means safety.” Proverbs 29:25 NLT.
In a perfect world, I would make everybody happy, I would cause everybody to love me, and insist everybody love each other.
It is not a perfect world, so I have spent most of my life trying to please everyone around me. Most likely, there will never be a time that they are all crazy about me, they will definitely not all ever be happy and I am pretty sure they will just tolerate one another.
What makes some of us prone to people-pleasing?
- Are we born with it?
- Was it something traumatic in our childhood?
- Maybe something lacking in our upbringing?
Perhaps the weight of the world was upon our shoulders. If we had to help with the finances, even in a seemingly small way, we would feel as if we could not fail our family.
Maybe our needs, and feelings, were ignored or we were told they weren’t important, that would make for extreme insecurity and cause us to continually look for approval.
As we begin to grow up, we become even more conscience of those around us, if we are a chronic people-pleaser. We are afraid we will be made fun of, maybe afraid we will be left alone and definitely afraid that no one will like us.
That is terrifying to a young person. It is distressing to any age!
So we continue to seek approval. From everyone. It is a vicious cycle.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10.
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:3.
Continually worrying about the approval and acceptance of others can even be called idolatry.
Jennifer Dukes Lee, in her book Love Idol, addresses this form of idolatry and challenges us to live Pre-Approved by God! Jennifer “… gently invites us to make peace with our imperfections and to stop working overtime for a love that is already ours.”
Friends, we only have to please One and that is our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! If we are pleasing to Him, everything else is alright with our world!
His love is agape love, totally unconditional!
That does not mean that things will be perfect, or even that everyone loves us; it means we have surrendered our lives to Christ and no longer seek approval from man. Our very existence is for Him, for worship and for His will to be done through us!
Living to please God doesn’t mean we worry ourselves to a frenzy every day wondering if we are doing all the right things, saying everything the right way, giving enough, loving enough, etc., etc., etc.
No, that would not be love.
“And he that sent me is with me: the Father hath not left me alone; for I do always those things that please him.” John 8:29.
Jesus lived to please the Father who had sent Him. He knew He couldn’t be a people pleaser either. Jesus knew it was impossible to make everyone happy!
“…because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.” John 5:30.
The will of the Father.
We are here to reach the lost, to touch the hurting, and to minister to the downcast. But it is the enemy’s business to keep us distracted, worried and confused to the point that we get nothing done but worrying about the approval of others.
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men…” Colossians 3:23.
If we have pure hearts and pure agendas we will live to please the One who matters.
Sharing with Friendship Friday, Faith Filled Friday, Fellowship Fridays, Essential Fridays, Womanhood with Purpose, Feature Friday, Recommendation Saturday, Inspire Me Monday, Modest Monday, Living Proverbs 31
I see it in ME too Rachael! God is helping….Blessings!
What a much needed post for the world today! I find it is all too common to see people pleasing all around us (if you do this, I’ll do that for you), and of course I see it in myself 🙂 Thanks for sharing this great reminder 🙂
Hello Monique! We are sisters together but we can be overcomers when talking about people pleasing! God wants to be our security, no room for insecurities! Amen! Blessings…
This made me laugh Joanne! I have always had that insecurity too…trying to please only ONE, His name is Jesus! Blessings, friend.
Amen Andrea, wanting to be liked. Always. Another post I wrote had a phrase that said, “Insecurity: When I give the opinions of others higher value than God’s opinion of me.” So true! He is the One that matters!
Me too Ruth! But no more, in Jesus’ name!
Wonderful thoughts Floyd! We need wisdom from God, always. Thank you!
Thank you Rebecca! Appreciate you stopping by, friend.
Hello my name is monique and I too am a people pleaser. This is something that I have battled with a long time. This post is actually what I need today:) wondering how do I please God? Wondering if I’m doing evrything right? This post and the Jonah post is so on point. Thank you candace jo:) for always allowing the Lord to speak through you! Love you much!
Hello Nannette! My name is Joanne and I am NOT a people pleaser, but I do crave affirmation from people due to deep, painful insecurity. These thoughts apply to me, too!
So good! I call my issue..”wanting to be liked” 🙂 Its so hard and it goes way back! I always go back to Jesus though and see how He knew the world would hate Him and hate us as well yet He still died for the world. He is so good. Found you on Fellowship Friday! Have a great weekend!
I grew up with extreme insecurity and all my life until the recent past I have lived trying to please others…
I love this! Thank you Nannette!!
Hugs!!
Wow. Good call. The only thing our Savior did is honor our Father, who could be our Father because of the love and sacrifice of both the Father and the Son.
Insecurity is a powerful thing in the hands of our enemy and used against our weak flesh and the powerful senses we were born with. Come wisdom, come… Good Word, sister.
Great post!