When the plan falls apart, then what? Part II

Make a decision to adapt and climb on board!

In 1786, Scottish poet Robert Burns penned the line, “The best laid plans o’ mice an’ men often go awry.” Apparently, things not turning out exactly as planned is an incredibly old phenomenon. The blog Stranded here at Hope in the Healing, as well as the first part of this one, attests to the fact that plans are not fail-proof. 

While thinking about the many trips I have taken, I could not forget our family vacation to Mount Rushmore and Yellowstone Park. I think it was 1977 and as we were driving away from Mount Rushmore, Dad’s car started overheating. We ended up stranded seventy miles away, in Spearfish, South Dakota. The car’s engine was beyond repair so Dad bought the only used car available there. Money had to be wired from Indiana to South Dakota, and it took a couple of days. While we waited, we indulged in a local favorite, the Polka Dot drive-in restaurant. (Picture bright pink awnings with big white polka dots.) We kids snuck off to enjoy The Apple Dumpling Gang, showing at the theater. Although the plans had most decidedly gone awry, and Dad’s stress must have been intense, we ended up creating some fun memories. Dad drove the Oldsmobile he bought for many years and we still talk about this and have a laugh together.

My thoughts turned to the more philosophical idea of our lives as a journey. Almost every youngster has an answer for the question of what they want to be when they grow up. At age four or so, one of my great-nephews would answer he wanted to be a garbage man. Now that he is a mature seven, he wants to be a marine biologist. Plans change; we adapt. By the time we leave our teenage dreams behind, most of us have at least a vague outline of our life journey. I had what I considered a great plan; I would become a pharmacist. Marriage was only an option if I found my soulmate, no settling for less. I would work hard, put in extra hours, and save, save, save, making sure I owned a home mortgage free, and be able to retire at age 58. Then, I would shift from career to doing things I really wanted to do and then would be free to travel. I would go to Ireland and connect with my heritage; life would be mine to enjoy.

Early on, things began to go awry! I became a pharmacist, and worked hard: driving all over Indiana filling in shifts for other companies after working my own full-time position. I had some nagging health problems that had been in the background since college. The fatigue of working so much seemed to aggravate what was diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis and lupus. As these diseases became more problematic, I was determined to push them to the side and win the battle they were waging. I had a nice home with a nice mortgage attached. 

During the fifteen years after college, I did nothing except work. No travel, no spa days, just work! (At age 35, I did find my soulmate which was the bright spot in this period of life.) By age 40, rheumatoid arthritis had destroyed my right knee, requiring it to be replaced. Despite always declaring I was fine, the progression continued. At age 46, I could no longer work, and have since been on Social Security and private long-term disability. I just turned 58. Now is when I planned to travel and enjoy life to the fullest. Those plans have gone awry! Travel is defined as going to the kitchen from the other end of the house.

What do we do when the journey seemingly gets so off course? First, maybe we should consider if it is truly off course, or if our plan was amiss. Maybe we are right where we should be for this season. We also need to decide how we are going to react to this change of course. You could consider if your pain serves a purpose; you may inspire someone you do not even know. Just because there are obstacles along the way, do not give up on your journey! Keep persevering and enjoying the things you can in the ways you can. Attitude dictates a great deal. Just because I cannot hike trails in Arches Park, I can still enjoy the beauty while riding in an RV. 

We enjoyed our RV journey so much, and found we can adapt it to work around the physical barriers. Guess what? We are now in the market for an RV. That sure was not in the plan! None of us knows what is around the next bend in our road. Do not put off until later the things you want to enjoy along your journey. Seize your opportunity!

Joy is a pharmacist in early retirement due to health problems. She is trying to live the best version of life and be willing to adapt to the continuing changes. She and her sweet husband, Doug, have two golden doodle furbabies. Oliver and Kenzi have recently discovered their love of going on RV trips! It’s become a family affair.

When the plan falls apart, then what?

A month or so ago, my lifelong friend Nannette, (hey, we rode the same school bus) wrote an inspirational blog about a trip she and The Sweetheart took this summer. Her post started out, “Take two senior citizens on one road trip in a rented RV for 13 days, 4000 miles and you are asking for nothing but trouble. Or are you?” You can read the rest of the post Stranded here on Hope in the Healing. It is quite an inspirational piece on God’s faithfulness and protection. It also takes you on quite a journey.

At our house, we were not exactly having a fantastic summer. I spent a month in the hospital from mid-June until mid-July with multiple blood clots in both lungs, bilateral pneumonia, severe sepsis and four liters of fluid in my left chest cavity. The fluid had caused a collapse of the left lung. To say the situation was precarious, and that I was in a life-threatening condition, would be no exaggeration. (I had not been negligent, but my pulmonologist assumed I had Covid-19. The possibility of pulmonary emboli never came up.)

Every new specialist who joined the care team would tell me how fortunate I was to have survived thus far. The bulk of that month was spent in the pulmonary critical care unit of a high acuity hospital. Let me just say, an illness that brings you into intimate contact with your own mortality does something to you. My heart was still reeling from the death of my older sister, nine months earlier. As if that was not enough, my step-father-in-law, who was a wonderful man, died suddenly while I was hospitalized.

Eventually discharged, in a debilitated condition, my doctors told me it would take three to four months to recover. Feeling so vulnerable to everything, especially the new Coronavirus, my lungs could not take another serious assault. (I had four negative Covid-19 tests, and a negative antibody test. Nope, Covid-19 had not caused it.)

My first month home was spent trying to gradually increase the amount of exertion I could tolerate and maintain adequate oxygenation. It was a slow process. Between forays into the kitchen for Diet Coke, I spent most of my time in my recliner. Day after day, the same chair, the same view, the same drink. By nature I am a calm person, but admittedly, I was having anxiety almost to the point of panic attacks. My life was flying by, while I sat in the same chair with the same view.

I have always enjoyed traveling. There is a great big world out there, and I have seen only a speck of it. We have a big, beautiful country, yet there are still states I have never visited. Because of the continuing havoc of rheumatoid arthritis, lumbar fusions, and now respiratory problems, it seemed my traveling days were over.

After reading Nannette’s blog, I started thinking maybe there is a way we can travel, now. My sweetheart, Doug, was intrigued. By the next day, he had mapped out a route. By the end of the week, we had rented an RV, and Saturday, it was at our house ready to go.

Spontaneity does not allow time to think through the possible problems.

Now, we were two senior citizens (ouch), in an RV rented for two weeks, and a trip of 4600 miles all mapped out. What could possibly go wrong? Our plan was to follow the path of Route 66 outbound, visiting the Grand Canyon, and then continuing to Las Vegas. The plan was to take a northern route, through Arches Park in Utah and then Denver on the way back.

We took my home oxygen concentrator, assuming we should be able to run it using the power inverter during the day and then use power from an RV park at night. Our first day out was great. However, on the second day, the power inverter shut itself down, and took with it any access to daytime oxygen. We live at about 500 feet above sea level, where supplemental daytime oxygen is not needed. Did we even think about the fact we were going to places that are 8000 to 9000 feet above sea level? Nope! At those elevations, I would need non-stop oxygen.

Did we think about portable oxygen, so I could tolerate walking? Nope! I could not walk ten, no make that five feet without huffing and puffing which meant all of my sightseeing would be enjoyed from a comfy front seat. I still had oxygen at night, until the concentrator rolled across the RV and down into the stairwell, breaking a piece of it. Doug took what we had, and like Apollo 13, “fixed it”! The next great fall broke the part beyond repair. Yes, we were trying to prevent this from happening. In an RV, with every curve or sudden move, anything not tied down acts like a pinball. That included me. Walking down the hallway tossed me from the sofa to the counter and back to the table. Being on blood thinner, those hits turned me into a patchwork of bruises.

The same day the inverter crashed, the sensor in the emergency brake thought it was engaged. After some troubleshooting, Doug Apollo 13-ed it with a bungee cord. On this same glorious day, we were needing gas. We had passed a station twenty-five miles behind us; we were in the middle of lots of rocks, but no gas for many miles so we backtracked those twenty-five miles. Did I mention we had not gotten a rental car for the Grand Canyon? Taking a 32-foot RV on those twists and turns…. Off we went to Flagstaff to get a rental car!

Did our trip go perfectly? No, but we sure learned a lot that we can use on our next RV trip. Doug and I agreed this was the best vacation ever. We could have focused on the uncertainties of my physical condition, and the fact I could not walk enough to see the Grand Canyon, or Arches Park up close. We could have focused on the other issues that occurred. Fear could have sent us back to the predictably of home…where I could sit in the same chair, with the same view, still drinking Diet Coke!

Come back tomorrow for Part Two of When the Plan Falls Apart: Make a Decision to Adapt and Climb on Board!

Joy is a pharmacist in early retirement due to health problems. She is trying to live the best version of life and be willing to adapt to the continuing changes. She and her sweet husband, Doug, have two golden doodle furbabies. Oliver and Kenzi have recently discovered their love of going on RV trips! It’s become a family affair.

Hey Guy, Somebody Call The Cops!

supermanBack in the day, we decided in order to be able to feed our growing family, The Sweetheart was going to have to bump up the paycheck. Air Traffic Control sounded like a good occupation, so off to Oklahoma City he went to the Mike Maroney Aeronautical Center for the first three months of initial training.

I was left behind in Indianapolis with two little boys to take care of all by myself. At the time, Kyle Douglas was 6 and Kristopher Ryan was 1 ½.

I could tell you all kinds of stories about the trials and tribulations of trying to work and take care of two energetic and inquisitive blond towheads by myself without any family close by. But that would be whining, and I am sure it wasn’t near as bad I remember it to be.

I’ve decided instead to tell you about our adventure when The Sweetheart graduated.

My wonderful in-laws graciously decided to take us down to Oklahoma City for my husband’s graduation. We load up the Roman Wheels Custom van with the grandparents, sister, nieces, nephew and me and the boys. The trip down was great, no problems from our little travelers, even with the long drive.

Unfortunately, their Daddy doesn’t get to come back with us because he has a couple of weeks left to wrap up. It’s been almost three months since the boys have seen their Daddy and Kristopher hasn’t been forming sentences too awfully long anyway, so when he sees him he is a little confused and is not sure what to think. He has a little trouble warming up to him and keeps saying, “Who dat Guy? Who dat Guy?” At first we think it is funny, but when Daddy comes home and he is still doing it, and out in public, we are starting to get worried! No matter how many times we say, “This is DADDY!” He would just keep saying, “Dat Guy, dat Guy.” And eventually he dropped it to just “Guy”. And so Daddy became Guy and remained that until Kristopher started kindergarten.

We arrived back in Indy, after being gone almost a week, and they dropped us off around midnight. Kyle is asleep in his room and Kristopher has finally settled down in his baby bed and I think all is well…

About ten minutes later Kyle comes creeping into my room whispering, “Mommy, Mommy, I hear somebody out in the garage!”

Now, if you are a regular follower of the blog you will remember that Kyle has a tendency to worry. But that’s not his fault. He always had to watch out for his younger brothers. Especially for number two, who has always caused him to be on guard. Number three had not come along yet, and it is just as well, he was quite busy with the one he had. So he is especially cautious and has a keen sense of hearing.

I didn’t hear anything and tell him not to worry and to go back to bed. Just as I started to walk out of his bedroom we both heard something coming from the garage.

It is way past midnight and I am home alone with two small children. I walked slowly toward the garage and stood and listened. Sure enough I heard men talking in my garage! I have been terrified of something like this my entire life. I am afraid of my own shadow, and every movie I have ever seen of an intruder in the house always left me terrified.

I always knew I would do one of two things: I would go running and screaming out the front door or I would lock myself in a room that had a telephone and call the police. Of course number two would be dependent upon the intruder not having cut the telephone lines.

They always cut the telephone lines!

Well I couldn’t go running and screaming out the front door because of the boys.

But I did have a phone. Did I use it? No.

Did I call the police? No.

Did I lock the door? No.

Did I send my little boy to his brother’s room and tell him to lock the door and not open it no matter what happened?

No. I did none of those things.

I opened the door.

I don’t need to tell you that the two men on the other side of the door were more surprised to see me than I was to see them. Actually, the look on their faces was priceless.

One was a cop. The other was my neighbor.

Kristopher, bless his little mischievous heart, had taken the garage door opener out of the diaper bag when we got home and took it to bed with him.

Okay, I don’t know how he did these things, he just did. Call me a bad mother, you didn’t live with him.

His bed was next to the light switch and he was flipping the light on, off, on, off, and the garage door, up, down, up, down all at the same time, creating his own light show at 319 Center Street.

We had great neighbors. We had patient neighbors.

We had neighbors that thought we weren’t coming back until the next day.

They called our other neighbor. He was the cop.

Thankfully neither one of them had a bad heart.

And thankfully both of them were still speaking to me the next day.

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