When SHARING isn’t necessarily CARING

41 Replies

#FiveMinuteFriday and the word prompt is SHARE. Today’s is a tough subject and I am preaching to ME! You all are welcome to listen in…

This isn’t just about gossip, although gossip is a huge problem.

This isn’t just about talking about our friends, family, co-workers, etc., but that is wrong too. We all are guilty.

I’m not just touching on the subject of “Oh, let me tell you about ‘Jim and Judy’ so you can ‘pray’ for them…”, when the time spent telling the prayer request could have been spent actually praying. Ouch.

I have been convicted over the time I have spent talking about needs or faults, and that time gets carried away and turns into counseling sessions where I think I can solve the other person’s problems…and they aren’t even there to benefit from my newly discovered knowledge.

The Lord reminded me of several things on the subject: “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12 NKJV. Meaning it could very easily be ME that needs the help the next time. It could be ME that my friends are talking about next. Take heed! Be careful who you are talking about this week…or as the saying goes that we see so much of lately…

“Don’t judge others just because they sin differently than you…”

Click To Tweet

And this gem:

“Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:5,6 NKJV.

Your gentleness. That seems Christ-like.  WWJD?

He would show mercy. He wouldn’t run and tell others. He would go straight to the one with the NEED. The one who had the problem. He would offer a helping hand.

What can we DO for them instead of talk about them? We can pray, make our requests known to God. Show them kindness, gentleness, love and extend mercy.

And if appropriate and necessary, go a step further:

  • Do they need assistance?
  • Do they need physical substance?
  • If the need is obvious, fill it!
  • If you aren’t sure, listen and let God tell you what to do.

The more I pray for the needs, and even sins, of my family, friends, co-workers and brothers and sisters in Christ, the less time I will have to pry and gossip.

I think HE will be more pleased with ME.

Be blessed.

Kingdom2

Life, Love and Endometriosis

6 Replies

Beyond thrilled to share a post from my daughter-in-law, Rachel Elkins! This is a huge out-of-her-comfort-zone task, in total obedience to the voice of God. Be blessed as you read her story and feel free to share your own; this is how we fight our battles!

I’m 37 years old and this is my first time writing. I’ve read many encouraging words written by my mother-in-law over the years; my sister-in-law, Alicia, just joined our family last year and she also writes so beautifully.

As a young girl, I proudly watched my mom, who was a pastor’s wife, stand in front of rooms full of women and speak eloquent words. I’m privileged to witness my husband get up every week and lead thousands of people in worship at our church.

And I’ve quietly observed from the corner. I am the person that is terrified when someone approaches me because I don’t think I will have the right words to say.

So, why speak now?  What do I have to say now that is so important?  Maybe it is nothing. But it is 3:00 a.m. and I can’t sleep because these words are on my heart.

Yesterday, I had my third surgery in 12 years for Endometriosis. This will be my last surgery like this because I’ve been told that I will need a hysterectomy by the age of 40. Endometriosis is a very painful disease and thousands of women suffer with it. Like so many others, there have been countless days when I can barely get out of bed, times I’m in so much pain that I have to cancel plans, or even days I’m in tears as I dig out my baggiest clothes to cover my bloated stomach that seems to be twice its normal size.

For some reason, many women with this disease, or other diseases, deal with it in silence. Why?  For me, I have spent so many years feeling guilty to complain or maybe even felt that it was all in my head.  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I can go through sufferings in my life by myself or I can share with others in hope that somehow my words can encourage.

Isn’t that what God has called us to do?

I’ve actually had other sufferings in my life that I haven’t spoken very much about. I have experienced a lot of loss in my “short” life. I lost my dad when I was six years old from an accident at his workplace. I also lost my only brother, very unexpectedly, a few years ago. I realized that I could go through that without saying anything or I could use that hurt to minister to someone in the same situation. You would never understand that kind of loss unless you’ve experienced it yourself.

If you know me at all, you know that I have also struggled for 13 years with infertility.  Unless you were family or a close friend, you didn’t hear me talk about it until about a year before I got pregnant (Yes, I said pregnant!  We have a beautiful, smart, spunky little two year old girl.) I didn’t know at the time why, but I felt very strongly to share my testimony of God’s faithfulness even though He hadn’t given me a baby yet. My husband and I made a video and it was posted on our church’s Facebook page. (Go watch it! Or wait until you are finished with this article, but be sure and see it.) We spoke of the hurt, but also the love, that God had given us for each other through all of it. We were honest in saying that we trusted His plan for us, baby or not. Hard words to say out loud!  Little did I know that it would reach thousands of people and encourage so many women in the same situation.

After I had my daughter, I remember the moment God spoke to me and said that I needed to use my experience to help others. It took me about another year to be obedient, but my friend, who also dealt with infertility, and I have recently started an infertility support group at our church. Being very introverted, I could never imagine being able to do it, but God called and He helps me every time I have to speak!  I’m not saying it’s easy!  I’ve had to look at these women and say the words I hated to hear when I was in their situation; things such as, “God has a perfect plan for your life” and “It’s all in God’s timing”. But I can honestly say that because there are no truer words.

After losing my brother in January 2015, things were bad!  I was grieving hard and I had to watch my mom grieve once again and I was mad. My husband and I were having a hard time. We went and packed up my mom who lived in another state and moved her in with us so she could have some time to heal. A couple months later I took the first pregnancy test I had taken in about 10 years. Complete shock is an understatement when we saw the word positive!

God knew!  He knew the exact moment we would need our little miracle. She has healed our family in so many ways that I’ll never be able to explain.

Another topic that we seem to avoid is struggles in our marriages.  I have an amazing husband of 16 years and we have a pretty wonderful marriage. I love him more now than ever before, but there have been lows for sure!  Did I ever admit them to anyone else? Nope! Why?  Pride, that’s why.  Who wants to admit they are having a rough patch with their spouse?  No one does. But if I don’t admit vulnerability and imperfections, then how can I expect a newly wed couple to look at us and think they are ever going to make it if they think we are always perfect?

Romans 5:3-5 says it so well. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” 

Such beautiful words and such a timely message for today.

I know that there are far worse diseases than endometriosis and there are worse situations than not being able to get pregnant for 13 years. I also understand that most people experience loss at some point, but these are my experiences and I believe now more than ever before that God allows our trials so that we can use that pain to minister and lift up others that are hurting.

Maybe it is difficult for you, as it was for me, to put yourself “out there” and allow the world to see your insecurities and even your flaws. Can I challenge you to let God use those obstacles in your life to make you stronger and then use that strength and wisdom to bless someone else? Nothing is impossible with our God!

Rachel Elkins has been attached to Kyle for over 16 years and they were blessed 2 1/2 years ago with the miracle that is Norah Jayne. Rachel leads an infertility support group at her church, The Experience Community, where Kyle is the full-time Worship Pastor. She is the co-owner and event planner at Southern Graze, where she helps create fabulous spreads for any occasion. You can find her most days in the ‘Boro chasing butterflies, playing house or building castles in the sand with Princess Nor-Nor. 

 

 

 

Sharing with Fresh Market Friday Friendship Friday

Think on These Things

Leave a reply

So happy to have my friend, Liz Freeman, as a guest writer today! (Her bio is at the end of the article.)  She shares Think on These Things from a personal perspective and I know it will bless you. Maybe you know of someone else who would benefit from it? Pass it on!

I know of a young man who took his life recently. Clearly, he was loved and appreciated by those who knew him. After reading post after post telling of his sense of humor, his ability to welcome people to church, to be a friend, to be active in church, it’s hard to understand what would have caused him to do something so desperate.

I looked at some photos on Instagram today, and something I saw brought a wave of emotions. I don’t remember what the photos were. I couldn’t tell you all the images and feelings that came to mind, but I remember that they made me sad. While the images that caused this reaction weren’t sad in and of themselves, that was the reaction I had. They made me think of things that were in the past; things that never had a chance to happen; missed opportunities. To people who see me each day, it wouldn’t be evident that I felt these things. I don’t talk about them. No one would ever know.

It’s easy to mask these feelings. We can laugh and cut up with a crowd of friends while having these feelings in the background. We can participate in events, get wrapped up in the busyness of life – something which most people take as being a sign of everything being okay – when, in reality, in our minds we are isolated.

When the question is asked, “What could have driven this person to do such a thing?” we should think that there is always a part of a person that is hidden; a private part of ourselves that we never show. There might be unwanted consequences of exposing such private thoughts. “We all wrestle with demons” is a true statement for many. Usually it’s an expression associated with addictions or other bad behaviors, but often, it’s just what runs around in our minds. The truth is, this is spiritual warfare we battle in our minds.

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”

I believe that to those who knew this young man, the things he thought and felt that brought him to that fateful day would have never been on their radar. I believe we all have these moments. It’s how our brains work. Still, for some of us, it can become a force that can drop us into a depth of sadness that we have to claw our way out of. The feelings can last for a moment, for months, or for a lifetime.

Over the years, I’ve learned to recognize this attack when it happens. I’ve also learned to resist it. Now, instead of dwelling on these moments and allowing myself to become lost in “what ifs”, I stop and do whatever I have to do to change the direction of my thinking. I “bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”. It’s a learned behavior; something we must train ourselves to do.

Paul also tells us how to do this: Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

I wish this young man had learned these things in time. I hope his friends and family don’t blame themselves for “missing the signs”. From what I’ve seen and heard, there weren’t any. I hope they can think of the things in his life that were honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and worthy of praise. I hope when they think of him, they’ll remember these things.

You also may enjoy A Plea to the Desperate, a true story we witnessed while in Sicily.

Liz Freeman began writing and editing articles as a volunteer for Endtime Magazine. She has edited several books for Endtime Ministries including: Revelation Commentary, and Dark Intentions: Inside the Mind of the Antichrist. She is also fluent in Spanish and served as music director for Los Pentecostales de Murfreesboro.

Liz is married to Terry Freeman, and they have two daughters, Elizabeth and Victoria, and two granddaughters, Olivia and Charlotte. They now serve as assistant pastors for Life Bridge Church in Murfreesboro, Tennessee.