Pick Me

I sure had not planned to do a follow-up on this week’s post, When Babies Don’t Feel Welcome in The Church. But with the response, and this week’s #FiveMinuteFriday word prompt, TEAM, it seemed appropriate. I have received many comments, on Facebook, email and the blog, and would love to hear YOUR thoughts as well.

Pick Me

There are few things worse than standing on a ball field waiting for teams to be picked. You certainly aren’t the Hank Aaron they need or the Chris Sabo they want. (Go Reds!) And away they go, picking the best, the tallest, the fastest, even just the best looking because, well, hey, they are good looking!

And there you are.

  • Last.
  • Unwanted.
  • Unpicked.
  • Just left over.
  • Someone has to take you.

It’s one of life’s most impressionable lessons that we simply never forget.

pick me

There really is only one team and that is God’s, we all should be on His team. But even in The Church, sometimes there are unspoken teams that are created, inadvertently perhaps, but still ever present. These teams can cause great harm to a newcomer, whether they have just moved to the area, are an established Christian or a brand new convert who is just coming to discover their new Savior and church family.

Look at Team 1:

Us Four and No More

This team is exclusionary. You can’t be a part if you

  • didn’t grow up in the city
  • weren’t born in the church
  • didn’t go to school with the pastor or his kids

And then Team 2:

Misfits, Tag-along’s and Always Left Behind

This team is INclusionary. (I just invented that word for today, you’re welcome.) They don’t fit the above criteria but they do

  • invite anyone into their group to be a part of The Church
  • work hard at making others feel included and wanted
  • realize that The Church isn’t four walls and make an effort to extend their hospitality

They aren’t really misfits at all, they belong in The Body! They are not tag-along’s either, they are faithful, hard working and jump at the chance to make a difference. And Always Left Behind? That is only because there is a Team 1 in every church that pushes them aside and causes them to feel as if they never get picked.

That’s it. Two teams. Of course there could be all sorts of break-out groups but for the sake of brevity, today it is two. One feels as if everything in The Church belongs to them, is all about them and for them. The other understands it is all about HIM and reaching out to “whosoever will”. They make an effort because they understand it is Kingdom first and self last.

One of the most important things we can do is to make sure they are PLUGGED IN. That doesn’t mean they take over teaching Sunday School after the first few visits but if they have chosen your church as their new home they have to have somewhere to land. Do you have Care Groups? Then assign them to one. Do you have mid-week home groups? They should be invited and even asked to bring a dessert, if you do that sort of thing. You have no idea how excited they will be to actually contribute and feel as if they are needed. Are you the youth leader or Sunday School teacher? Make sure you know the names of their children and help them strike up conversation with someone else that will help them feel comfortable.

If you asked a new family in the Church the most important thing you could do for them their first few services?

PICK ME.

#FiveMinuteFriday is supposed to be short and written in five minutes…so we shall stop here! But help me today by commenting what YOUR church does to assist a new family in becoming a part of The Body.

 

Sharing with Grace and Truth

 

When babies don’t feel welcome in The Church

When babies don’t feel welcome in The Church

If you are acquainted with me or Hope in the Healing even just the least little bit, you are aware that we have been blessed with a miracle grandbaby, Norah Jayne. With us now just 4 1/2 months, she already trumps every plan and every move we make; our lives are centered around this little bundle of joy.

norah7

Our family took a vacation together to the mountains to celebrate my DIL’s birthday and to just be together this past weekend. We also dedicated our precious miracle and gave her back to the Lord in a beautiful, intimate ceremony in the Smoky Mountains. Norah had her Mommy and Daddy of course, norah1her cousin Liam who read a beautiful tribute he had written,norah5

her Nanny on Mommy’s side,IMG_3246

her Uncle Krisnorah0

and Uncle Koreynorah4

plus The Sweetheart and Yours Truly, a.k.a., Nana and Poppy.norah3

It was beautiful!norah

Norah’s pediatrician had given the go-ahead for baby cereal to be introduced and Mommy decided that when we were all together would be the perfect time to let Norah be fed with a spoon for the first time.norah8

I truly wish someone had been there to take pictures of all of US taking pictures of Norah. Eight people hovering around cheering her on as if she were the only person on the planet to ever eat cereal. (She wasn’t overly thrilled at first but caught on pretty fast!)

Then, Sunday night, we were privileged to be in service in Knoxville where I heard a pastor compare the attention we give to new babies, and rightly so, to the attention, or lack of, that we give to newcomers and visitors to our churches.

when babies dont feel welcome in the church

Ouch.

When you welcome a new baby into the family (btw, that term has always intrigued me…are there any OLD babies?) they don’t have to beg for your attention, do they? They don’t have to ask to be loved, held, hugged and snuggled or to be included in family functions! In fact, it is quite the opposite, they are the center of all the attention. The baby is usually the reason we gather together. There isn’t anything they do that we aren’t overjoyed with and more cell phones are pointed at that newborn than Jennifer Lopez on the red carpet.

Do we make over them as we do a newborn that has just entered our family? The Bible says the angels rejoice when ONE sinner repents!

What about when they walk in the door? Is it only the ushers that greet them? Are they then left to feel awkward as they make their way to a seat and hope it doesn’t belong to someone else? After they are seated, what about those in front and behind them? If that is you, do you turn around and speak?

“Well, I am shy. I wait until they speak to me.” Seriously? Is that what we do with a baby? Wait until they notice us, or speak to us? No, because they are a baby! They are the newcomer in the room and need someone to care for them, to love them, to help them find their way.

Anyone can say, “Hello! So glad you are here!” Especially if they are new converts or visitors that do not know the Lord, they need to feel as if they belong so that they will return. We want them to feel the presence of God and His love and it begins with us because He is IN us!

I have been a newcomer, more than once. I have also been the pastor’s wife so I have seen all sides. Recently we made a major move to another city, another state, to be near Norah Jayne. Our new church family has been amazing in making us feel at home. Some of them we have known a while, some only from a distance, and most we are just learning their names. But every time I walk in those doors, not just one person speaks and welcomes me but several. Others have given up their seats so we could have a place to sit! I have never felt as if I was taking someone’s seat and that is a testimony to great leadership, teaching and examples of servanthood.

A baby that is ignored, not fed, not loved and not made to feel welcome will do one thing.

It will die.

And a new baby in Christ will do the same thing if they are not made to feel as if they are the most important person in the room…because they are.

Love on them, welcome them, invite them out for Sunday dinner or over to your home for conversation. Go shopping with them, to a ballgame, INCLUDE them in church activities or group events. Have a Bible study going in your home? Let them hear about it! If announcements are made about something going on at the church, a dinner, fundraiser, etc., make sure and tell that newcomer that you will be looking for them there and then follow through. Invite them to sit with you so they don’t feel uncomfortable. It makes all the difference in the world.

Yes, babies are a lot of work. It takes time to care for them, nurture them and give them the tools they need to grow. But they will grow and they will become workers in the Kingdom who will then reach out to other babies and so on and so on. Remember, they are not ready for steak and eggs. It takes time for them to learn so don’t expect them to get everything right. In fact, we can learn from them! Babies are filled with wonder with everything they come into contact with. Everything. Their eyes light up with every bit of knowledge they take in.

Babies, kind of like puppies, also think YOU are wonderful and new converts are no different. Just as a baby and toddler will copy their parents or siblings, so will a newcomer to the Lord. They will imitate you and watch your every move. Make sure you practice what you preach so as not to be a stumbling block to them. Remember what it felt like to be the new kid on the block whether it was at school, a job or your church. You don’t want them to get six weeks or six months down the road and say they just couldn’t fit in or feel as if they didn’t belong.

This is the Gospel in action. This is what Jesus came to do and this is the commission He gave us as well. Preach the Gospel, walk in love so that we can point others to Him. It’s not about us when the baby enters the room, it’s all about them.

Love those babies, He has entrusted them in your care!

For the Kingdom

Sharing with Messes to Messages, Wholehearted Wednesday, Women with IntentionTell His StoryFamily fun Friday, Grace and Truth, Word of God Speak, Amaze Me Mondays, Living Proverbs 31, Modest Monday

Hidden in plain sight.

It’s #FiveMinuteFriday! Loving the word prompt today, HIDDEN. Hope you enjoy my true story of something I thought I had lost. Join others who are writing on the same thing today by clicking here!

Hidden in plain sight.

Have you ever lost something that you thought was gone forever? I have a couple of times. Once, 35 years ago, I lost my engagement ring and wedding band. We searched high and low, you can read the funny, or not so funny story here.

I have moved another eight times since that loss that was never found. In this latest move, my sons were helping us load a truck and go through boxes at the same time (I do not suggest this) and they opened a box that literally brought tears to my eyes. When we sold our home in Missouri, and moved to the country of Latvia in Eastern Europe in 2010, I sold almost every thing I owned to be able to pay, and stay, for the duration of our commitment. From Longaberger to Hoosier cabinets, I parted with treasures. But ever since that move, I could not remember what I had done with our china. I had never seen it again and yet did not remember selling it. Did it get left behind in the old house? That was a possibility because the storage room there was endless and complicated. Regardless, the beloved pattern that I had picked out with The Sweetheart some 40+ years ago, was gone.

So, back to the story…Kris and Korey came upon a box marked fragile and there it was. Every single piece, including the crystal stemware, was in perfect shape, no chips, no cracks, nothing was broken.

hidden

Hidden. For years, something that meant so much to me was hidden from me and yet I had probably touched it, brushed by it, stacked other things on it, etc. It was right in the room with me and I never saw it!

I felt a whisper from the Lord about that. Is He so near at times that we could reach out and touch Him but we do not even realize He is in the room? Do we brush by Him, too busy to really dig deep and get to know Him, too careless with other things that we stack on top of Him, pushing Him to the bottom of the heap?

It happens. He is hidden from us and we do not realize it. We are busy, we are rushed, we are sidetracked with LIFE and yet there He is…waiting to be unpacked, to be used, to be glorified in our lives so that we might lift Him higher for others to see!

We aren’t perfect. We stumble, we fall, we get back up again. We strive for perfection but we will not be perfect in this life. Yet, we don’t have to be!

The Christian isn’t supposed to be perfect, he is to point others to the One who is!

As I unwrapped my china, washed it, dried it and put it in a cabinet that was easy to get to, and something I would see every day, I noticed the insignia on the bottom.

treasure

Treasure Chest. I had a treasure hidden from me for years, wishing I knew where it was at times, remembering it when special occasions rolled around and wondering if it would ever be a part of my life again. Would I be able to leave this treasure, special to me, for my children or grandchildren?

When Kris and Korey saw the china that had made me tear up they made the comment that not only did they not remember it but they did not remember ever having a meal with it on the table. Yikes. Treasures are not meant to be hidden! I promised the next meal they have at my house will be eaten on china even if it’s Papa John’s. I’m going to use it.

Even more important than 40 year old china is this One we call Jesus, the lover of our souls. Don’t let Him be hidden from you, don’t just bring Him out for special occasions or spend your life wondering if you will ever truly know Him. Take Him out of His box and use Him today. He is waiting to be unwrapped.